Nobody, male or female gets married, planning for divorce or separation. At least, I don’t think they do. Amidst the euphoria, glitz and glamour of courtship and marriage, who considers that their marriage just may not work? I have heard people say things like, he wasn’t like this when we were dating. Oh, she just changed overnight! I fell out of love with her! I lost all respect for him!!! The excuses are myriad and go on and on.
So, where did things go wrong? Who do we blame? Is it possible to retrace our steps? Can most marriages be salvaged or do couples give up far too quickly? Are there preventable extraneous factors that couples allow to affect their marriages? What role do social media and society play in marriages breaking up? What role does the extended family play in the demise of a marriage? Have the couple put in the work necessary to make their marriage work?
When do you know that this marriage is no longer working? When is it ok to throw in the towel and walk away? When do you decide to put yourself first and walk away from your marriage? So many when’s and why’s!!! So many divergent voices, giving advice!! Pastor, priest, parents, siblings, friends and even haters, all determined to share their experiences as well as opinions!!! Who do you listen to? Who has your best interest at heart? Who wants to take your place? How do you pick which advice to act on and which to discard? These are difficult life choices for anyone.
Marriage takes work!!! Two people from different backgrounds, with different life experiences, are thrust into the same space to ‘become one’. Sounds easy right? After all, we love each other!!! Wrong!!!! Is love really strong enough to keep couples together? Is love the only ingredient for a successful marriage? Does love fade away in marriage? Does the transition from courtship to marriage force couples to behave in a certain way and ultimately, put a strain on their marriage? Do couples have unrealistic expectations from each other merely because they are married? Does the entire institution of marriage need to be over-hurled to achieve more realistic results?
Do couples hold unrealistic expectations from each other before, during and after marriage?
Should couples become superhumans to make the marriage work?
To be frank, every marriage has the potency of success, after all, they are couples that still mark Golden and Platinum Jubilees, in the same marriage that many crashes at two weeks, one year and a few other years.
Truth: Every marriage can work. That workability depends on the couple. Enormous Sacrifices. Not ready for sacrifices, not ready for marriage. Men are as guilty as women.
Men are Grooms. They are groom brides. Not understanding the role of a groom is the easiest path to a marital crisis.
CMDI provides couples with the antidote for Successful marriages. Join the CMDI marriage lessons and ask your questions. Together, we shall rebuild our homes and save society from the marital crisis.